October 08, 2008

Quick DECOrating Tip For 1930's Blacks, My Keynote Sermon at Utah Hippie-Camp '08 & Major Major Head Hippie Ear-Flicking

I'm not a huge fan of art deco glass work, nor am I a big fan of dark african bent woods, but when you put the two together... well hey hey hey.

Go decorate you homos.

Anyway, I laid down an Awesermone™ (awesome sermon) about earholes, buttholes and blowholes after some douchehole got all bent at me for jabbing at a Utah based hippie camp.

I'm from SF yo, I'm an authority on hippies.

Five hundred lbs. of DUH please.

Btw I pronounce "lbs" when I read it. You probably do too. Kinda sounds like getting hacked with a machete.

Speaking of which, back to the hippie camp. The reason why I was jabbing it was because for some major lapse in judgment I agreed when they asked me to be the keynote speaker at the camp.

They promised good pay and accommodations.

To hippies that means sleeping on a floor with one singular old bath towel for a blanket. They woke me up for a 6am hippie exercise drill wherein many nigerian money scams were laid out on the table as means to make a living.

Oh how I wanted so badly to punch the head hippie in his hippie head. Instead I just flicked him in the ear really really hard.

A small chunk of ear florped across the room and bounced a curvy series of mini bounces along the floor exactly like you'd think an ear chunk would bounce.

Anyway, the crowd was divided, for some reason, despite my aversion to them, many hippies seem compelled to see me as a guru.

Probs the beard.

Five hundred more lbs. of DUH please....to go.

Did you pronounce lbs this time? Good.

What I mean to say is:
I wish hippies would actually act more Nigeriany and genocide each other with machetes.


That's all for now,
Don't get caught lumping in Nigerians with those joiks from Congo and Darfur because you are too lazy to google to make sure they chop the crap out each other too.
Your Mostly Ineffective Weapon of Choice for Choppy Genocide,
Electric Can Opener

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