I photographed the Mayor of Uglytown. It's in the Ukraine. The flight was long and uneventful save that I was seated next to Willie Nelson and we got in a fight with a very dirty clown. Willie and I talked about atheism and twitter. Apparently his twitter persona is lesbian. I could see that.
The clown we beat up returned from the restroom no longer dirty and with a full new make-up job.
"You clean up well." I said.
Then Willie Nelson laughed way way too hard for a joke that really wasn't even a joke. Of course he IS Willie Nelson... not hard to guess why he thought it was sooooo funny.
The photo shoot of the Mayor of Uglytown was in a HUGE arena and he stole a car right in front of everyone. I don't know if it was because he was a Russian gangster or the mayor, either way it wasn't a surprise.
Our interpreter kept wanting to talk about Penn Gillette and all the money he must spend on strippers bein that he lives and works in Vegas. It was a VERY boring one sided conversation.
"Listen, I don't know anything about Penn Gillete other than I get his tweets and they are about his mp3 collection and very boring so I'm not talking about it any more."
"I'm baking jew peas." said the mayor.
"What?"
"I'm baking jew peas!"
"What are Jew peas and why are you baking them?"
"Baking like dog bake, jew like jew..." he said while pointing at me. "Peas like pretty peas and tank jew betty mooch. Tail a butt Penny Gelata."
First, don't bake dogs. Second I'm not Jewish. Third, peas are more cute than pretty, I don't know any fat jewish cling-ons named Betty and I'm not tailing a butt Penny Gelata no mother ho mooch jew bake me peas"
Point is:
Jews are Gentiles to Mormons.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught trying to write an Abbott and Costello routine because I'm pretty sure they are dead.
Your Top Two Favorite Satellite Dishes,
Barack Obama's Ears
No comments:
Post a Comment