I have been going back to church lately, not because I'm religious or anything, I just like doing porny type stuff at church. Before you go calling it a fetish I should tell you that it's more about disrespecting religious institutions than it is about having a better boner. All in all the boners are no different.
Still fetish free.
Don't be bummed.
On the way home my cab was being too ambitious and got wedged between two other cars. I ended up lifting it out all by myself. The push-ups have apparently been doing some good.
Perhaps not completely coincidentally, later in the evening I wedged myself between two mattresses on a flat bed truck and took myself a nice little nap all smashed style.
That's not a fetish is it? Being smashed? I didn't have a boner.
When I woke up we were rolling down a snowy junk strewn median where I discovered an awesome mexican restaurant.
Then I took my sister to all the local pizza joints that carry my secret blog book I never told you about.
Eventually I got sick of my sister, bless her heart, so I went down in the basement and hid in a box filled with all my old clothes from high school. I found a really old lame baseball shirt in the box that I swear wasn't mine but if it was I have blocked it out.
For good reason.
Point is:
Church is LAME.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught using bible pages as tissues, not because it's sacrilegious, but because they are scratchy and not super absorbent.
Your One and Only Spell Check Word That Still Doesn't Look Right,
Sacrilegious
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