My step dad works a desk job for the Mormon church. He also works for the President of The United States.
Anyway, I think he is a great dude nonetheless. I'm not sure if I am divulging any national secrets here but they (The government in conjunction with the Mormons) contracted with me to do some entertainment for some interested parties which shall remain top secret. I sent out my boxes of stuff but when I arrived they couldn't find my shoes. They tried to pass of some silver shoes as mine but I think I would notice if I owned silver shoes.
Nice try Secret Service.
One of the other people contracted was a famous "cat dude", half man half cat, or so they want us to think, he is really just some crazy dude who acts like a cat purring and pawing, acting skitish and licking his balls. Not entertaining in the slightest. I had to sit next to him during some down time, time was going by really slowly so I non-stop interviewed him about cat culture. He was def on the spot. A real cat would have bailed under so much scrutiny. Busted.
While I was gone my brother tried to steal all my remote controls, like 20 of them. I don't know why it's not like they would work on his shit. I found them and stole them back. I didn't even confront him.
I fill in DJed a party for my little swiss friend at a gas station last night. For some reason they had like 50 CD players running simultaneously with only one 10 channel mixer and I was supposed to figure it all out on my own. That's the last time I pretend to know what I'm doing. Also the A key on their laptop didn't work so I couldn't type in the password to access the lyrics.
Singing along became a problem.
It wasn't all for naught, I traded photo services for gas station deli fried chicken with the dude who owned the place.
He is a DJ too.
Who isn't.
Anyway, he seemed really ashamed about the quality of the chicken. He was right, it was bad. He probably wont even come collecting on the photo portion. Good thing too. He was extremely boring looking and didn't seem to be the type that would be easily coaxed into his underpants.
BTW, half the reason I get people nearly naked is because I am picky about fashion, most of it sucks, nudity never goes out of style.
Point is:
I'l be the judge of who is smartest.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught National Security Alerting the entire MALL,
Your Vice Preciousident,
The Cat Dude
No comments:
Post a Comment