Took a trip back to Provo Utah where I spent my college age years. That's right college AGE years. I didn't go to college.
Because I was already smart.
Anyway, I was driving down 13th E. with The Worlds Largest Midget, aka my old friend Kevin, and we passed an old dance club and lo and behold, look who was standing outside loading in speakers.
It was Conan O'Brien.
"Hey CONAN!!" I yelled out the window.
"Hey MERKLEY!!!" He yelled back.
I was kinda surprised that he knew my name but not nearly as surprised as I was when he continued talking to me even though we were still cruising at 30mph down the street and I could hear him as if he was standing right next to us.
"Yeah I'm just here doin my regular DJ gig at The Star Palace, you guys should come, I'll put you on the guest list."
By now he was blocks away in my rear view mirror and it sounded like he was talking right in my ear. I wondered how much longer would I be able to hear him speaking to me, .
"Kevin, can you still hear Conan talking?"
"Nope, he's like a mile back, how could I hear him?"
"Dude, I think Conan is pulling some serious ghosty type bullshit. Turn around, lets follow him, this is EL AME."
He turned around the car and we chased around looking for him but we couldn't find him. I could still hear hiim talking although was apparently no longer talking to me, I think he was just mumbling to himself. . It was like an ass dial only totally stuck in my brain.
About ten minutes later I couldn't hear him anymore, thank goodness. I was worried I'd have to hear him grunting in the bathroom.
I don't know how he did it. Weird shit.
In other pasty people news, Last night I was walking down Castro and John McCain's Limo picked me up. His wife told me they were taking me to his fundraiser in the Castro. I didn't really wanna go because A) I'm not a big fan and B) I wasn't wearing any shoes. Too bad fuckin McCain loaned me his.
Anyway they ended up dropping me off at the rear entrance saying they would come in later through the front. They never even came through. We all had to sit through this long ass infomercial type campaign propaganda. I was the first person to boo when it was over.
Point Being:
Ghosts are IDIOTS.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught making fun of white people.
Your Favorite Plastic Cancer Scab Licking Limo Wart Money Bag Hag Who You Can Just Tell Really Is A Cunt Like Her husband Says,
Mrs. McCain
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