I took a long helicopter ride yesterday to see all the oddities up near Provo Canyon. Below all the people on the beach were waving at me and throwing things at the helicopter. I reached out and caught some of the garbage they were throwing. I caught a toaster, a shoe and a bowl made out of candy. I couldn't tell if people were happy or angry. People have very strong feelings about people in helicopters. My favorite part of the ride was the close up view of the mountain side -- turns out the entire mountain is made out of shoes. Willi Wonka certainly had a hand in all that business. Why else would the whole world be so billowey and tent like? Kinda hippie if you ask me.
Later on I was telling a really huge boobed/assed pretty girl I know that she had an absolutely beautiful face which she took to mean that I was calling her fat so she decided to punish me by taking off all of her clothes and smothering me with her puffy vagina and gigantic boobs. I pretended to be annoyed but she smelled really good and who really hates slippery jiggly things? I mean as long as you don't have to walk on it, right? Although walking on a big sheet of labia skin might be kinda fun -- I'd probably want to run and slide on it like one of those yellow plastic water slide deals. If I ran the world, sidewalks would be made out of labia skin and everyone would walk to work. See? I just saved the world AGAIN.
Later on at the awards banquet, my best friend from high school who is now super fat, super mormon and super litigious got kicked out for slapping the asses of the waitresses. I'm telling you, Mormons are fuckin pervs man.
I got my hair permed all afro style because I am a clown.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught robbing the black man of his soul and putting it on your head as a joke.
Your Most Recent Excuse To Kill Your Kids,
Post Party Depression
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