I went to Peru to check out the famous City of The River. If you have never heard of it, it's exactly as it suggests, an entire city built on a river, or IN a river I guess would be more correct. It's quite a hassle getting there with no roads etc. You literally have to wade upstream, waist deep, against the current to get there which is why half the city is totally abandoned. The houses are big palacial houses with garages built into the natural little wading pools. I checked out as many as I could and finally found one I think I want to buy. It was deigned with all sorts of twisty turny rooms and hallways, making the whole thing quite maze like and you all know how much fun I think it is to not be able to find the bathroom when you need to pee. I tried to get information about the owners in order to make an offer on the place but all the maids inside only spoke spanish, which really wouldn't be a problem cuz I understand enough spanish, but they were all pretty shy about saying ANYTHING. Anyway, the place was a castle with the north side being surrounded by lush greenery high up on a hill with a big arching patio from which one could view the falling smoke clouds as they puffed down onto the beautiful beach below and to the west. Up on the cliffs to the east one could see The Cliff Ship People scabbing their ships onto the side of the cliffs.
Back in my old room at my moms house the entire staircase was suffering from some major structural damage, the wood had warped into driftwood looking knots and curls. Great to look at, not so great for egress in an emergency. I installed a new window in my own room complete with a paper towel dispenser. I didn't do a good job installing, I know this because at one point I used gum to hold something in place. Not sure that would be up to code.
The old man that now lives in my old room did a pretty good job cataloging all my old shit. He puled out my old TV style sunglasses and they worked as good as they did back when I was a kid. I snooped around trying to find all the other old treasures I socked away as a kid. The safe was still there but someone filled it up with ammo, no guns, just ammo, kinda pointless if you ask me.
When I went to pee my old toilet was still there and it still didn't have a hole for flushablilty. What a great joke, a toilet with no hole.
The vacuum salesman tried desperately to sell me a new vacuum even though I already have at least ten perfectly good vacuums. My mom was falling for his pitch so I rolled my eyes one billion times so far back into my head that I could see the people in my brain. They were waving.
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