I went to a very uncomfortable elderly gay dance contest in which the contestants were fully developed pre-teens and other assorted mutants. Apparently if you are elderly and gay it's ok to look at naked kids so long as they have huge boobs and/or long penises. OK I guess that's not very fair of me to say that, for all I know they were old people who were just really short and had childlike proportions/demeanors etc... Anyway, none of it was very exciting, I think that's another factor they consider with child pornography laws, you know, keep it really boring and they'll just say its art, I believe that's the number one requirement for getting an art grant too. Makes sense. Anyway, the show had many layers of leather and fur and there was also a lizard headed hairstylist. Whopdeedoo.
After I went with some rockstar friends and well known a native tomato slicer to another bar that was full of beds. A really tall girl climbed into my bed with me and we fooled around while bad vibing some random dude with a boner away the hell from us and onto another bed with another one of those tiny naked old people or fully developed kids that I mentioned earlier
On my way home we stopped at a yard sale type deal underneath a freeway overpass. I soon discovered that all the merchandise were my own personal belongings, including my leather jacket collection and my brand new sheets that had apparently been stolen. I went to discuss this fact with the people running the show who turnned out being these gigantic thuggy negro fellas who weren't too overly concerned with my grumblings so I did the reasonable thing and I lit the whole place on fire. I only felt a little bit sorry for them as they burned. Come to think of it I probably could have figured out a way to get back at them without burning all my own stuff but hey remember the LA riots and how they burned their own neighborhoods? Maybe I got the idea from that. OJ Killed those people on my birthday you know. Ask My shrink. HAHA you CAN'T CUZ I DON'T HAVE ONE. Don't YOU feel stupid.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught starting race riots on the blog.
Your Favorite Unknown Immigrant Tomato Slicer,
Morgan Freeman
No comments:
Post a Comment