One of my old roommates moved back in and very quickly decided to repaint the entry way which sent me into a rage more powerful than all the peppers in mexico. Why do I let my old roommates move back in? I DON'T THEY JUST DO IT UNTIL I FIND OUT AND CHOP THEIR HEADS OFF! Biggest mammas boy on the planet that one was.
I moved my bed to the park and one of my girl friends joined me but we couldn't sleep very well because everybody kept messing with my news sheets. Had I known the sheets would cause such a stir I would have just left on the old ones. People go NUTS for high thread count. STAY BACK ASSHOLES!
I'd also like to go on record that I actually tried to do something about the barbaric sandwich situation at the park. I tried to tell anyone who'd listen that the yummy sandwiches they devoured actually contained living puppies and newborn premature infants but apparently deliciousness is far more important than the sanctity of cuteness. I had to chase down and tackle at least 5 different cops while holding an armful of sauce covered squirming fetuses I'd rescued from sandwiches before anyone would even give one second of attention to the horror they called lunch. Fuckin San Francisco man, It's like fetuses are meatballs around here.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught taking a nibble just to see what all the hype was about.
Your Least Likely Liberator of Lunch,
The Holy Ghost
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