I bought a crappy guitar at a crack sale last night and then wandered the streets playing dozens of songs using the exact same two chords for every one. I felt like a mariachi dude cept I didn't have the crazy suit. I was singing at twenty billion decibels and people LIKED IT. I was having fun until I arrived at a yuppy party which of course was NUF which is FUN spelled backwards. Their food fights are even lame, I mean how the fuck can you screw up a food fight? I'll tell you how: SUSHI and BROWN RICE.
Back in the back room I found my little blonde new waver friend passed out naked in an ice cold barfy tub. She needs to reign it in a gallop or two if you ask me. I built a wall out of cardboard boxes to shield her from the googly eyes of the plentiful douchebags on hand, then I projected a vibe that let everyone know that they would be vaporized instantly if they even thought of molesting her. Yeah I'm a total super hero.
! went for a drive on "The Giant Life Sized Map" Six flags has been advertising. Of course it's just a road, I mean it's basically just the whole planet, the planet being a life sized globe. You pay 20 bucks and go through an entryway and on the other side is just everything else but now you're thinking LIFE SIZED MAP. Genius marketing. Anyway, I drove past a car full of happy people throwing peanuts. They were having such a blast on The Life sized Map which I found kinda pathetic and sad -- I should probably see a shrink about that.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught offending the locals by singing in mexican.
Your Dad's Fourth Wife
Janet Reno
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