You've all heard me pee on burning man a billion times already so I won't get into a rant here but you know, living in SF, whether you like it or not, you're gonna end up having a friend with a curly mustache and a tall bike and he's gonna have a girlfriend who still thinks tall silver boots and fur pants are AWESOME so what I suggest you do is every once in a while play along and make a musical keyboard out of an old typewriter and a pile of walkmans. Chances are you actually have an ounce of taste and can do it better than anything THEY do. Anyway, that's what I did yesterday. I also made a bike out of an office cubicle ALSO FOR THEM. Bad Burning Man Antic City.
While on my way to my best friend from childhood's house I discovered a ditch filled with sideways carrots, meaning the carrots were sicking out into the ditch like a big long orangetooth smile -- or maybe a zipper. I'm going to patent the carrot zipper so don't go trying to make a billion dollars just yet PAL.
I turned my back guest room into a jail so now all kinds of hoodlums go back there to gamble but it doesn't bother me because I have totally been preoccupied with finding the perfect shrink to fit suit. I just like feeling it shrink, I could probably get the same sensation if I wore pantyhose head to toe. I'm gonna go try that. Just kidding, what do you think I am, YOU? Yeah right, I'd sooner wear pantyhose head to toe.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught wearing pantyhose head to toe.
Your Non-Pantyhose Head To Toe Wearer,
Not That Pink Unicycle Dude
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