I went to church yesterday and wouldn't you know everyone was all politics this and politics that and I was all
"NO MORE POLITICS. THIS IS CHURCH YOU IDIOTS!"
Of course I knew that church is always about politics but also I was there not to learn about Jesus but instead make jokes and do a little work for good old satan planting those seeds of doubt. I'm a good person, that's why.
Anyway Adam Sandler gave a half decent sermon in a bunch of wacky voices. My neck started hurting from looking to the left so much due to some genius designing the church with sideways rows as if it's a good idea to be facing the other half of the ugly ass church goers sitting on the other side. Leave that type of seating to gymnasiums NumbNuts.
Oh yeah, my old best friend from growin' up had box seats and he was tryin' really hard to be funny but NOPE, not funny.
Later on I was having sex with this MILF from church when I noticed her kid was watching. I tried to turn away and block his view with some magazines but he was intent on watching me bang his mom.
Then he tried to copy my moves. That wasn't gonna fly.
"Oh it's ok" she said, "We have a really open household."
She wasn't lying, the whole front of the house was missing and it wasn't long before the whole neighborhood was watching us do it and all of them were copying my moves too. BE ORIGINAL PEOPLE.
"I'm not into this public sex stuff." I said.
"We'll let's find a new place then."
Then MILFY, her kids and I all went hunting for a good private place to have sex. I mean for me and the MILF to have sex, not the kids, they don't get to have sex, they just watch. Pervy bastards.
I'm not calling her back next time she texts. She was desperate anyway. Bleh.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught changin up your game to fake'em out.
Your Favorite Place To Bone a MILF,
The Garage
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