I've already bragged to alls yalls about how I lost 350 lbs in three months by completely eliminating oxygen from my diet but since most of you don't live here in the great gay mecca, yalls don't get to see how the fine citizens of SF are the true benefactors of my miracle weightloss. How are THEY the benefactors yalls ask? Well, ever since the drop, I , of course, never pass an opportunity to take my shirt off and by opportunity I mean any situation involving the public aka yalls at large. Yalls would too if YALLS waist was only 16 inches and yalls pectoral muscles rippled and twitched even at rest.
</yalls>
So yeah, last night I shitrlessly waited around for stuff to happen. I waited at bars, I waited in waiting rooms full of snakes, I waited in hotel rooms with bad lighting, I even waited around on a park bench. Save an old friend ignoring me at the bar where she has recently become bartender, nothing happend. Ok so she didn't ignore me completely but she was totally blowing me off and not taking my drink order. So what if I was busy shirtlessly reading and refusing to make eye contact, she is my friend, she should have brought me my favorite drink without even having to ask. When she did finally bring my drink, although her sentiment was apologetic and worth the waity, I didn't really want an entire pitcher of weak whiskey Coke Slurpee. NO TIP FOR HER.
Later in the day I was invited to an old friend's old roommate's new illegal apartment. I had to snek through 5 million backyards to get there and in every one of those 5 million back yards were 10 korean ladies with frownlines ten inches deep just waiting to take my picture and report me to the housing board even though I WAS JUST ATTEMPTING TO VISIT SOMEONE I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO VISIT!!, MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS KOREA!!
Anyway once we finally got there I taught her some of my 3d paint texturing methods and we turned her crappy little back yard hut into the fricken TAJ MAJAL. good thing a bunch of diaper sporting muslims didn't get all bow downy in the back yard. They all stink like pizza shops. Not that that's bad, just makin conversation. Why don't you just relax?
I forgot to mention that for the entire day my old Navajo pal from high school followed me around with his expensive digital video camera. He dropped the camera at least 10 times. Don't think he was cut out for show biz.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught singing "You be Kim Jong Illin" to old frowny Korean bitches who don't like RUN DMC on account of straight up RACISM.
Your Favorite Saintly Collectors of Starving Brown Kids,
Brad & Ang
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