I went over to my childhood best friends old house yesterday to reconnect with his family and what not. Over the years his mother, a hefty woman straight off the farm had taken up redecorating for whatever reason that causes women to move the furniture around every five seconds. Her taste was very unusual for an old mormon woman, she covered the walls with glowing drapery and had every hallway changed so that there were no right angles which made it very interesting to navigate. There is a good chance that her contractors had down's syndrome. Stuff was jank city.
I was happy to see that even though they were growing old on the farm they were keeping up with the latest gadgetry. i was especially fond of the computer/microwave/chicken rotisserie. the bird inside made my stomach yell stuff.
Not sure exactly why I suddenly felt an urge to walk around naked in the old house but I'm not one to deny the spirit, I learned that in church. It was all fine and dandy, my old friends didn't give a shit about my free swinging balls but all the new kids were trying to bust me so then it took one million years to find my pants.
BTW, If I take my shoes off, I can guarantee they will find their way into a giant pile of shoes and someone will steal one of mine leaving me there trying to find the match while constantly weighing options such as just wearing one shoe home or revolutionizing the fashion world by wearing mismatched shoes. ZANY!
Later back near home a girl I once photographed who is also a photographer was pointing a knife at me and asking me how I do certain things in photoshop, then she tried to seduce me for answers. I made up a bunch of bullshit until one of my rockstar friends showed up and intimidated her into silence.
Oh yeah, if you haven't been down to the new Taqueria blvd the city has been pushing off on to tourists, you really should cause it ain't gonna last long. First of all the lines at the taquerias are way too long with way too many yuppies and idiots wearing Uggz and the actual all you can eat serve yourself hot taco/nacho bar they installed AT GROUND LEVEL into the left part of the sidewalk, while SUPER AWESOME TO BEHOLD, is very easy to not notice causing you to step in the refried beans and rice and pork and chicken etc.. I was only there for ten minutes and I saw at least 20 people step in the taco bar condiments. Shame really. I nearly cried. Not really.
Also, you should drive your go kart down there if you go because that's what I did and it's always a good idea to copy me. Scrape your wheels along the curb for maximum sparks!
That's all for now.
Don't get caught dumping beans out of your sneakers.
Your Least Favorite Nacho Topping,
Mike Huckabee
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