I went to a terrible art show yesterday, AGAIN.
News flash to art school students: tin foil is dumb, especially when you make robot costumes or space people costumes. Ok I'm just kidding, tin foil is THE BEST -- just kidding, it's dumb, 'cept when I use it then it's cool. Look, I don't wanna be Negative Ned, just maybe don't invite me to your art shows anymore because when I have to pretend I like your crap it fills me with self hatred and other kinds of hatred and some of it is the kind that might end with my toe in your tin foiled ball sack. Just kidding, you can invite me, I like making fun of you in my head. Just kidding ALL art is GREAT!!! Just kidding, yours really does suck. Seriously.
I'm so much like Simon.
In Utah there is a gas station in the upper avenues above downtown that was built from an old theater. The actual theater part was converted into a bedroom with the bed smack dab in the center of the enormous stage. I used to sleep there because I loved the applause when I woke up or turned over or told jokes in my sleep. You'd be surprised how many people came to watch me sleep, maybe they just needed gas, at any rate I was very very VERY popular when I was in Utah. Did I mention it was an indoor drive-in theater? Yeah, all the seats were removed, people used their headlights to light the show, which was me sleeping. I can sleep in bright light.
In other news, I did married people things with a girl that had a greatly detailed map of her home town of Yuma Arizona tattooed all over her body. At one point my wang totally wiped out the entire airport and I didn't even have to go through security checks. Terror wang for sure. BTW If you just made up your own obvious "twin towers" joke in your head just now it's obviously because you have never been to Yuma. One needs a good sense of Yuma if one wants to make funny jokes about it.
Now THERE'S a joke with POTENTIAL.
Don't forget to tip the waitresses!!!
That's all for now,
Don't get caught writing cool as ice ad campaigns for hot as turds desert towns and giving them away free on the internet.
Your Communist Vagina,
Jane Fonda
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