I came across a whole huge flock of white doves as I was walking down the street yesterday and everyone around me was oooohing and awing and I was all
"Shut up you idiots, they are no different than fucking pigeons and you all HATE pigeons."
Then I ran towards the flock to scare them away because people were bugging the fuck out of me with their over done reactions and wouldn't you know, just as I started shooing them off, the white doves all flew right down into the sewer proving my point.
The thing is, I don't even dislike pigeons or white doves, I really have no preference. I should have chased all those idiot people into the sewer instead.
I tend to misdirect my fake rage sometimes.
After all that I really needed to pee but I couldn't find a bathroom for a billion years and finally when I DID find one it was one of those performance bathrooms where they have an entire cabaret of transvestites performing on a little tile stage above the urinal banks making it very difficult to concentrate on just peeing because they are kicking their hairy legs inches from your head and winking at you to get tips. LIKE I NEED A FUCKING SHOW WHEN I PEE!!!
The gays LOVE bathrooms.
Anyway, later on I placed third in the oval wheeled car race through the skinny mountain paths on the other side of the golden gate bridge. BTW the Key to driving a race car with oval wheels is to get all the wheels aligned properly so that they are all rotating as a unit thus creating more bounce than wobble. If you can get them just right the car is literally hopping, errr LEAPING down the trail. Notice that I didn't say BUNNY trail because I knew you'd think it anyway because you are like 4 years old.
Grow up.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught drawing parallels between the preference of white doves over pigeons with the NAACP and republicans.
Your Favorite Urinal Attendant/Show"girl"
Barrack Obama
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