A famous rock band for which a friend of mine is a stylist was asking me to take their picture last night. I was being non-committal about the whole thing because truthfully, I really don't like their style, which seems like it would be a reflection on my friend who styles them, but you know, one must work within the confines of another's already established image I guess so I don't blame her. She has good style on her own. As I discussed my ideas with said rock band they kept hmmning and hawing and trying to steer me in rather douchebaggy waters so just kept talking about how busy I am -- which is true, but I couldda squeezed them in if I wouldda wanted.
After that I wandered around the ship deck and plopped my self down for a nap in a really comfortable arm chair. I drifted off to sleep and dreamed about dogs.
"Excuse me merkley???" a voice said as I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Excuse me merkley???"
I lifted my head up to see that I had been joined by a multi generational family of very well groomed, perfectly tailored people all staring at me uncomfortably.
"Excuse me merkley???, but do you know a really famous man named Jim?" A little girl asked.
"Ummmm, I don't think so, I mean there are lots of famous Jims but I don't think I know any of them personally... why do you ask?"
As soon as I asked that question I noticed that I had obviously chosen a reserved section on the deck of the ship for my nap. Apparently it was reserved for some famous guy named Jim and his family. These people were gently trying to convince me to be on my way.
"Oh excuse me, I said, I didn't notice, I will get out of your way. Say hi to Jim for me." I said as I straightened out my suit and bid them see ya.
In the ship's massive theater they were filming a new muppet movie and the guest host was Donny Osmond who was apparently dressed up to look just like me with the beard and white velcro shoes and everything. I was going to be annoyed until I realized it was more of a tribute to me than anything else. The Camera man/crane operator didn't show up so I volunteered even though I had never operated a crane. All the rehearsals went flawlessly as I glided down the whole theater for a sweeping overhead audience shot landing perfectly on a close-up of Donny's face. When it came time to actually do the shot for real, I kept over correcting which steered me in the wrong directions, going too high or too low or way off to the side. Bummer. Beginners luck I guess. They thought I was just being funny because I always turn my mistakes into jokes.
Down in the basement another group was filming a techno music video and once again my vibe was blatantly copied. They even had an entire closet full of white velcro shoes. Apparently it was copy merkley??? day yesterday. I don't know whether to be annoyed or flattered -- I can be both right?
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