We've had an infestation of rabbits, raccoons and rats back in the back yard so I went out there and threw shoes at them. the dogs all climbed the trees and chased them as I sang "Rabbits Raccoons and Rats, Rut Durr Yer Theenk Abert Dats!" I beaned a lot of them in the head. The Raccoons were throwing me some really dirty looks. Passive aggressive fucks.
I woke up on an expedition barge out on the bay looking at the collapsed bridge. Chico was there being a good dog just hanging out with my brother John.
"Wow, how drunk was I when I came to your house?" I asked him.
"You didn't seem that drunk."
"Well how come I can't even remember going there or even getting on this barge?"
"I don't know, i just thought you were tired."
We went back to Johns place in Oakland where he is somehow affiliated with a foundry type place. One of the women who worked there keeping the furnaces going was a dead ringer for Mother Teresa, she couldn't have been more than 3 feet tall and she was sitting in a hole in the floor which made her look even smaller.
"Why do you sit in a hole?"
"Oh it keeps everything warm so that when it goes into the furnace it works better."
She climbed out of the hole revealing a pile of bones and skulls.
"You heat the furnaces with bones?"
"Those aren't bones."
They were definitely bones, but I didn't press her because I know when to lay off. Besides, chico was making a nusiance of himself growling and guarding a pile of crap he'd collected. Some nerdy woman came by and offered me a job filming Drunk Week at the eyeglasses museum but after she walked away a dude approached me and warned me that I shouldn't take the job.
"Don't do it, she totally spit out my plum juice."
Sure enough I could see her down the hall spitting out plum juice into the trash receptacle. How rude.
I watched a man as he conducted a puppet/groundhog army. They had choreographed lots of different dances. i had no idea groundhogs could be trained with such precision.
"They have the same brain as dolphins" The man said.
Sure enough, with a closer look I could see their blow holes. Who knew?
Later up on the roof I used a ball point pen to draw hair on all the bald people and lions in a giant black and white photograph from the sixties. I couldn't figure out why all the people were bald or why they were hanging out with tons of lions like it was normal. I think I wrecked the photo with my ball point pen. I didn't even do a good job. I'm lame.
No comments:
Post a Comment