I haven't seen my old friend, roommate and mormon mission buddy Greg Newbold for many years so when he invited me over to his mom's house for dinner I was a little surprised. His mom always looked at me with a crooked glance, she was very very Mormon and looking back I think she could tell that I was destined to be Satan's lawyer but her son would always insist that I was a great keeper of the faith, and at the time I was, but she knew.
Even though I bailed on religion for a much better situation, I'm also a good house guest so I wasn't about ready to argue with her about all of it, I really just wanted some baked chicken and potatoes. Besides I could very easily get my point across by simply arriving to dinner without a shirt which is what I did.
Anyway, She ended up giving me a massage which was awkward for all of us, so, yeah, chalk that one up to looking good in boxer briefs, or having the power of Satan, you choose.
Since I was in the the old neighborhood I stopped by my old junior high school where Mrs. Davis, my old drama teacher was still sitting at her desk surrounded by kids paying the rent. Mrs. Petersen, the super bull dykey girls gym coach and the woman we all suspected to be Mrs. Davis' lover was in the corner of the room wearing a purple wig just chillin.
I handed Mrs. Davis a check for 20 years back rent and then gave both her and Mrs. Petersen the "I know you are dykes" nod of approval and went on my way.
My my my are they both fat. Good for them.
Later my friend Lindsay was hanging off the side of the house by her feet and I saved her life. Hero me.
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