October 25, 2007

Property Hunting Down By The Tracks, Auction Robot Porn Hosted By The Patrick Swayze Bull Dyke Twins & The Crucifixion of a Donald Trump Wannabe

I went property shopping down by the railroad tracks. It's a shitty neighborhood but there are some really cool old houses with 18 foot ceilings and the new moving sidewalks the city just put in spruce up the place rather nicely. Anyway, I was only down there because of the auction.

Yeah the auction. Also a dating service. You show up and they do this snowball activity where all the dudes are on one side and all the ladies are on the other then the women all pick the man they want. Cool right? No, not right. The "lady" that picked me was a toothless cracked out black lady that must've been homeless, (part of the trouble with doing couples skating down by the railroad tracks). Anyway, the suggested end result of this little "date" was being demonstrated up in the auction block where an unfortunately homely looking couple was getting it on.

I didn't want to have sex in front of a bunch of uglies with a homeless woman, but I played nice and just kept the conversation about kitchen appliances and paper products even though she kept trying to get her boney ten foot long fingers on my balls. At least I wasn't stuck in conversation with the two muscular Patrick Swayze looking bull dykes who were hosting the auction running around declaring their independence from men in their fuzzy togas. Why do so many dykes look like Patrick Swayze? Anyway, the only message the fuzzy togas were sending was loud and clear: TRY TO IGNORE US.

Back to the ugly couple having sex on the auction block, the woman had a blue green tone, skinny but squishy and lots of moles, I think she was a hooker, deep set hooker eye holes. When I walked past her I glanced down to her crotch area to see what was going on and hey ho, big surprise, there wasn't anything, no point of entry, all sealed up. Lady was a robot. Personally if I was making a sex robot, it'd have more tightly stretched skin with an actual vagina type deal. Nice touch with the moles though.

Oh yeah, Above the auction pulpit thingy there was a flashy business man in a nice blue suit nailed to a cross made out of brief cases. ART man, ART!

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