I have been going back to the old neighborhood of my childhood a lot lately. I don't know why, I just get a terrible knot in my stomach every time and I count the seconds until I leave.
Yesterday I was walking the same route I walked to high school when I was late for school or missed the bus. I was kinda surprised to see a few of my fellow students, now all grown up, still walking the same path. I bumped into a guy that was my friend in middle school but by the time high school rolled around he was recruited by the Future Farmers of America douchebags and was not allowed to be friendly with a new wave break dancer preppy motherfucker such as myself. But much to my surprise, as an adult he was dressed rather bohemian and he told me how he was now a defense attorney. I always hoped he'd come to his senses, apparently he did. He evolved. Funny, his name is Darwin.
As for why he was walking the old path to school, I didn't ask, neither did he.
Still, seeing him left me depressed.
Everything about Utah leaves me depressed.
Later I joined the members of my old band for some kind of ill planned reunion of sorts. I don't what the fuck I was thinking when I agreed to be part of it. The rest of the band bypassed my managerial and promotional skills in favor of some overweight stinky fella who was apparently relying on the power of prayer to fill the venue. I watched as he kneeled and recited his prayers, arms outstretched to the heavens imploring God's great goodness to keep us all from complete embarrassment when nobody showed up.
"Uh yeah dude, that's not how to promote a show."
"How do you know?" He said.
"Well I promoted shows successfully for ten years, you need posters, radio ads and flyers mixed with good word of mouth, the only thing were gonna have at this show with your method is one douchebag promoter with bruised knees. Do you know how to dance?"
"Well if you're such a great promoter why didn't you help out?" he asked.
"A) Nobody asked and B) I was kinda hoping for a complete disaster such as this." I said.
And it WAS a disaster. Nobody showed up. I thought I'd enjoy the misery, but frankly I was just plain miserable. Oh and did I mention that I thought it would be cool to dress up in a yellow and red dress? Yeah, thought it would be "f.u.n.n.y." -- nothing more pathetic than a miserable man in a Ronald McDonald Tranny joke dress.
I'll try to avoid the past from now on. Fuck the past.
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