The Water Column Of Death From Above, The Attempted Murder of Jogging Strippers and Playful Sex With an Absolute Angel

Airport hotels are just crazy places. I'm not talking about hotels located near the airport, I'm talking about hotels that **are** also gigantic super busy airports. I'm not sure I can recommend that you stay in one either. Last night all hell broke loose in the hotel where I was staying. The weather outside was motherfucking frightful. Every time a plane came in for a landing everybody was on pins and needles waiting for the inevitable crash. I was peering out the huge glass windows at the front of the lobby and I could see the darkest clouds I had ever seen gathering off in the distance. Just as I began realize the size of the approaching storm I saw the cloud open and dump a dense waterfall column of billions of gallons of dark water out onto the elevated freeways that stretched in and out and to and from the airport. So great was the weight of this concentrated column of water that it obliterated anything in its path as if everything were made of sand. The freeways crumbled under the storm, buildings fell like poorly stacked pennies and it was headed our way.

My adrenaline kicked in full force as I ran around trying to find the best way out before the storm came and crushed the whole hotel. Just outside the doors I came across an empty airport shuttle bus parked with the doors open. The elevated runways were collapsing and big jet airliners coming in on the runway were disappearing into the big gaping voids left by the shifting earth caused by this enormous column of water falling from the sky. The ground was rumbling so much it began to fatigue my vibrating feet.

The keys to the bus were not in the ignition but the bus was parked on a hill so I flipped the bus in neutral and I used all of my strength to give the bus an initial heave to get it rolling. I ran along side the bus for two or three hundred feet attempting to steer it just by placing my free foot on the ground using it as a make shift rudder. As you could probably guess, the bus was much to heavy and was moving too quickly for this kind of crap. Since the engine wasn't on, the power steering wasn't working and the whole ride was near miss after near miss just narrowly escaping terrible collisions with the gigantic pillars holding up the tangled web of freeways passing over head. Cars and busses and trains were falling off these elevated freeways and runways crashing to the ground all around me and the big column of water which would mean certain destruction and death was right on my tail. All I wanted was to get out from underneath this huge network of concrete freeways. Enormous chunks of falling concrete would certainly kill me -- my only chance of survival was to get out into the open where I could at least attempt to swim up the column and negate its downward forces on my body.

But then the storm just stopped.

Of course that's when I found the ignition switch in the big bus. I turned it over and took off down the freeway to survey the damage. There was a lot less than I thought there would be. People were out jogging down the freeway intermixed with the traffic. I rolled up upon some strippers running down the street behind a big truck. They were right tight up against the back of the truck and they were keeping up with it in tremendous fashion. But then suddenly some asshole in a giant greyhound bus drove right up on the heels of the jogging women sending them running for the side of the elevated freeway. The bus driver stayed with them and essentially forced them off and over the side railing falling what may have been 100 feet or more. I thought I recognized one of the women and I was completely horrified having witness this brazen crime regardless so again I sprung into action.

I took the very next exit and doubled around to try to find the spot where these women might have fallen. I found some pale white human arms sticking up out of the soil and was astonished to see that one of the women had fallen so hard that she had buried herself in the soft gray soil underneath the freeway. I was also amazed to see that she was still alive. As I approached her, a giant tractor came out of nowhere and ran her over for what appeared to be the third or fourth time judging by the tire tracks on her exposed forearms -- sure was a lucky thing how soft the gray soil was because it absorbed the weight of the tractors and I was able to pull the woman to safety.

Later I had some of the best sex of my entire life with one of the prettiest, smileiest women I have ever seen. The sex was incredibly playful but also extremely passionate. I was delighted to wake up and find her still next to me sleeping like an angel. An ANGEL I tell you.