In an attempt to raise my level on the geek pole I took a trip up north to hang out with an internet friend I had never met in true life. She likes to go on and on about her blog fame and what not which is why I assumed she was like way up there on the geek pole.
But apparently she ain't.
Everywhere we went I got spotted and she didn't.
She was pissed.
It was Naked Night at the Hotel bar where she always hangs out with her friends. I normally don't like Naked Night anywhere but her friends were so complainy about everything that had they not been naked it would have sucked like ten times as much.
Complaints look funny on naked people.
My shoes got really dirty.
There were animals in the street.
One of the worst things about hanging out with a group of someone else's friends is the crapping situation. I had to take a giant crap but didn't know how to go about accomplishing it. To make things worse, she had a friend who had a pink poodle that had to poop every ten steps.
The fancier your haircut, the dumber you look taking a crap.
I just held it.
Felt like I had a bowling ball in my anus.
Still I was happy to be spotted more than her in her own home town.
So if you were one of the people who said hi to me, now you know why I had gruntface.
Summary:
Internet friends should stay there.
Strange groups inhibit easy dumps.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught waiting till the last second to tell everyone it's your birthday.
Your Favorite Kind of Birthday Cake,
Willard Scott
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