It was ritual naked swim day at my bank yesterday. Had I known I probably wouldn't have gone, luckily I didn't know.
This might just be a San Francisco thing, you tell me. Does your bank have a huge swimming pool/baptismal font up on the balcony? Do old people flock in to get naked and crowd the pool droning and chanting religious bullcrap?
Fat Grampas and Grammas look interesting naked. One woman had some type of elephantitis of her legs, all her fat had slumped down around her feet. She was shaped like a hershey's kiss only skin colored with age spots. She looked like a melted candle. I could not see her feet because they were completely covered with the slumping fat. She moved more like a snail than anything else.
Anyway, a halfish type friend of mine was somehow involved in organizing the event. The dude with the curly mustache. I think the point was to somehow attempt to all at once cleanse people of sins while blessing them with wealth.
Maybe it was a Jewish temple.
It was a bunch of hooey.
Still fun to see a pool filled with naked old people hoping for big money through spiritual bullshit.
On the way out I saw Oprah. She is a zombie now, or at least she was for the event. She had major goiter, her neck was fatter than her head. Gale was there, no signs of any dykery to report. Sorry.
You'd think all that would be enough stimulus to keep me occupied but it wasn't so I hooked up the personal TV desk to watch the runaway bagel truck wreak havoc on the outdoor pool with a load of at least a billion bagels.
Soggy bagels and old Jews in a pool.
There is a theme here.
Point is:
Cash is Way More Useful Than Jesus.
That's all for now.
Don't get caught prolonging the holocaust by calling elderly Jewish people rich and soggy.
Your Most Fave Irish Rabbi With a Squishy Fat Eye,
Rabbi O'FlabbEye
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