I got married to one of the girls in my book. Don't worry though ladies and gays, it was a sham marriage purely designed to anger her parents.
I'm not insane.
I was busted eavesdropping on a conversation Obama was having with one of his associates by a rolling pin bearing homeless woman amputee who came scooting along on her little homeless amputee slab. at first I felt that hand in a candy jar feeling but then I thought:
"She can only use one hand for scooting, how fast can she be."
I threatened her.
Anyway, apparently one armed scootering is the same as being in a boat with only one oar, as long as one switches sides every couple of paddles...
Point is, Obama's supporters are handiCAPABLE for sure.
Speaking of Obama supporters, a white guilt rockstar friend of mine just spent a billion dollars building a new mansion.
He showed me around.
"Dude, why are all the stairways slanted hard to the left? Seems really dangerous, especially with no handrails."
"Well, the more dangerous the task, the more care is taken."
"Are you saying people are less likely to fall down the stairs if they are forced to pay attention?"
"Basically yeah, also people can't sue you if your house is obviously a FUN house. Injuries are a big part of the FUN."
"And you are voting for Obama?"
"Yeah."
Sometimes people don't even realize they have turned into a republican.
So sad.
Not sad that they have turned republican, sad that they don't know it.
ALSO, years ago I invented a shower head that disperses timed droplets in such a fashion that with a little strobing of the lights, a three dimensional image, made entirely of droplets, appears in the shower with full movement and everything, just like a hologram or a water droplet puppet. Well, my friend had one made and installed. His chosen moving 3D water droplet image was a girl playing with her boobs.
Big surprise there.
Summary:
Marriage is Best Used for Spite.
White Guilt is The Reddest of Herrings
That's all for now.
Don't get caught mythbusting your balls,
Your 5th and 28th favorite fucked up stiff appendages,
John McCain's Arms
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