There is a certain type of dyke I call The Step Dad Dyke. The reason is obvious. They are shaped like my step dad, saggy pants, zero ass, beer belly, little chicken legs and pack of hot dogs neck.
You have seen them.
Perhaps one of them married your mom.
Anyway, I saw my step dad yesterday but everything had totally changed. He was lean and slender, not like he just lost a lot of weight from not eating, like he had been working out.
I looked around for a thigh master.
We went to the mall to buy birthday presents for my sister that I haven't seen in almost 15 years and he floated about flirting and charming customers from store to store with all kinds of new game.
Not like a ladies man, like a fag.
What would my mother think?
I stopped him right before he wandered into the ladies rest room. I don't know, maybe he was just not paying attention but I started to wonder if he had some sort of inner queen whispering out directives.
Then I wondered if maybe he was a lesbian, but that didn't make sense because now he looked less Ellen, more Anne Heche.
"Step Dad Fag" doesn't sound right.
Coincidentally, later in the day I came home to find a really fat friend of mine naked in my bed. She too had the step dad body, like a big toad.
She got up to take a pee and I was tempted to make a wart joke but decided to save it for the blog.
Later on in the evening I scheduled a special dinner for a friend that recently pissed me off. I assembled a group of preachy mormons and vegans as dinner guests.
The Mormons were in charge of beverages.
The vegans were in charge of the food.
The dinner was at his house so he couldn't leave.
Ah revenge.
Summary:
Dykes make excellent step dads.
Revenge is best served tepid (with Mormons and vegans)
That's all for now.
Don't get caught confusing step dad dykes with hamburger dykes.
Your Favorite Anti-Hamburger Step Dad Dyke Cologne,
Aqua Vulva
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